View inner impulses with the same apprehension

that you do with a bossy person.

When someone tries to boss us around we invariably resist. 

Who does she think she is?

He’s got a nerve telling me what I should do. 

And so we dig in our heels and refuse to listen to their bossy advice. We can make our own decisions, thank you very much.

But what about our own whims? Any advice needed with them? For example: past conversations. What is it that compels us to replay them in our minds? Verbal disagreements: what compels us to argue with someone in the first place?

More-than-one syndrome: the imported chocolates, courtesy of a friend, beckoning to us. A good reason to enjoy one. Delicious! Then we feel compelled to eat another. After the third one, guilty thoughts arise and our delight turns into embarrassment. We blame our lack of willpower.

Just as we now resist being dictated by the apparent whims of others, we need to develop the control to not be dictated by our own whims and impulses.

Practice letting go now without hesitation . . .

Strength is not controlling others,

but controlling oneself.

It’s not hard to be a bully.

You just tell yourself that you’re smarter, bigger, more capable than others. So cloaked, you now lord it over everyone. You stride to the front of the line, pushing aside those in your way. Dismissive of other’s views, you demean their ideas while your minions praise yours.

Bullies think that they’re strong and powerful, towering over their targets who cringe in fear of the next tirade, or worse. But bullies are so wrong.

Strength isn’t the ability to make others cower in fear and submission. It isn’t about creating havoc by turning moral standards upside down.

Strength is holding steadfast to moral codes when others are dismissing them. It’s standing firm in the face of temptations and using our influence to do good, not harm. It’s, one moment, admitting we need help, and in the next, seamlessly offering a helping hand to those in need.

True strength is an inner virtue, not an external spectacle.