Before teaching others, 

we should first cultivate ourselves.

Having some success with cultivation,

our behavior will precede our words. 

Having discovered something new and intriguing, we usually can’t wait to tell others about it. Take, for example, newly hearing about Buddhism. Wanting to share what we just learned is understandable. But if we cannot yet do something, how can we explain it? 

Take anger. If we have not yet found a lessening of our anger and a sense of calm through our practice, how can we teach an irritated person to be more patient? 

Or take worries. If we speak of letting go of worry and fear but are often anxious ourselves, how can we convince others that Buddhist practice will help them? When we try to teach something before we can do it, others will resist us. Understandably so. 

When we progress in our cultivation, our behavior will reflect our growth. When others view us as experienced and trustworthy, we will then be qualified to teach.

Transform enemies into friends.

We should mind our own business 

and not the business of others.  

This advice from Great Master Yinguang speaks to us of gossiping, a habit we all indulge in far too often. Consider what you talk about. The book you just read, or what you heard someone did at the party last night? A project you’re working on, or your co-workers? 

When we gossip, we indulge in speculation and we spread rumors. But even if what we say is true, is it our business to talk about it? Would we be uncomfortable if the person overheard what we said? We can tell ourselves that that person will never know. But the one we told knows. Perhaps this person will think less of us for gossiping. Most likely, we will have planted negative thoughts in our listener’s mind. How? Rarely is gossip about wonderful things. Ultimately, gossip spreads perceived wrongdoings. 

Instead of talking about what others have done, we need to focus on our own behavior and correct our faults before we become an item of gossip.

Affinities, and love, can span many lifetimes.