Nothing Exists On Its Own

Everyone and everything is interconnected. Nothing exists on its own. When we were young, our family supported us and our friends looked after us. As we grew up, we went to schools built by the communities we lived in. Then as now, our country protected us through the armed forces and emergency services personnel. Living in a country with the freedom to choose our faith tradition—our standard for ethical living—we are able to not merely survive but to grow spiritually and emotionally.

This page that you are reading come about through the hard work of many people. Many of these people were in turn supported by other people, perhaps financially, perhaps emotionally, who were in turn supported by the efforts of countless others. This interconnectivity goes on and on. Understanding that we do not live solely on our own, that no man is an island, we will begin to develop a sense of gratitude to all the infinite beings who help us to live better, more meaningful lives.

But what of those who have harmed us? Do we need to be grateful to them too?

Ideally, we should also be grateful to those who have harmed us, not just those we like and who care for us. Remember, we reap what we sow. Our lives today are the results of our past karmas of thoughts, words, and actions. There is no one else to blame when we experience unpleasant circumstances. Those who have harmed us are simply bringing us the consequences of our past karmas. We can do as we have always done: complain and become angry. Or we can choose to understand what is happening and accept that we have a karmic debt to repay. Gradually, we will even be able to feel grateful to those who harm us. Those who harm us provide us with an opportunity to repay a debt that we had incurred.

Purity

Purity is a state of mind in which we have no selfish or judgmental thoughts, no thoughts of like or dislike, or of pride, greed, or anger. It is the mindful state of mind in which we are no longer moving erratically between feelings of great happiness to those of discomfort or sadness. It is achieved when our minds are serene and stable, when our thoughts are of benefiting others, and when we are contented and are able to remain calm and at ease with everything we encounter.

Truth of Interdependence

"Our emotions and perceptions are like seeds in the garden of our minds - and mindfulness is like cool water. When we water the seeds of joy in ourselves, they will grow and flower without struggle or effort. This is one of the simplest and most wonderful of miracles. When you nourish yourself and others in this way, you see that all things - this piece of paper, the air you are breathing, you and I - are deeply interconnected. This is the truth of interdependence. No one can be one's self alone. We have to inter-be to be."

~Thich Nhat Hanh

Impermanence and Relativity

In our desire to possess that which we believe will make us happy, we even wish to possess other people. We want others to respect us and to love us. We want others to only think of us. To always come back to us. To forever be with us. This is a form of craving and a major attachment, which is due largely to not yet realizing that we are all impermanent: We all change from second to second. None of us remains the same. None of us can forever hold on to what we now have.

Our lives are brief. Time seems to tick by so slowly when we are miserable. But when we are happy, that moment in our lives feels very brief. Albert Einstein, while trying to explain the theory of relativity, put it into simple words that most of us can understand. If we put our hand on a hot stove for a few seconds, it will feel like eternity. But if you are a man sitting next to an attractive woman, ten minutes can feel like seconds. Everything is relative.

But even as brief as our lives are, nothing will remain with us forever. The person with us now will not always be with us. This is so painful for us because we become attached, in this case, to people whom we do not want to lose. When they are gone, we will miss them as we continue to think of them and the pleasant times we had together. But, for good or for bad, we cannot keep any person with us.

By Oneself

By oneself is evil done;
by oneself is one defiled.
By oneself is evil left undone;
by oneself is one made pure.
Purity and impurity depend on oneself;
no one can purify another. 

The Dhammapada
translated by Venerable Buddharakkhita