Vigilance

We all know that we need to treat others as we ourselves wish to be treated. We hear this expressed quite often in many cultures and faith traditions. So when we hear these words, we nod our heads in agreement and think of course, we should do this. It's so obvious.

But the minute we stop focusing on the words, we forget! So quickly the awareness fades as we are pulled back into everyday concerns. When we encounter someone who treats us unfairly or who simply doesn't seem to acknowledge our existence, we so easily slip back into selfishness. We forget that we had just heard that we should treat the other person as we wish to be treated.

So in our forgetfullness, we will make a thoughtless remark to them, or about them, and inadvertently pollute our mind and the minds of those with us. Forgetting that we do not want others injecting their unkind words into our peaceful thoughts, we will carelessly intrude on the peaceful thoughts of others.

We need instead to be vigilant, to be focused on our goal of helping—not harming—others.

Embrace Obstacles

Expect and embrace obstacles! For without them, we can not make progress in our practice. Only when we comprehend the true nature of adversity and are free of vexations will our wisdom unfold. For example: when provoked by someone our minds nevertheless remain tranquil, calm, and free of vexations.

That is the essence of practice.

~ Analects of Master Kuang-Ch'in

The Four Integrative Methods

When we try to help others, we can keep in mind and try to practice the Four Integrative Methods that Bodhisattvas use to approach and help people.

The first method is giving what others like, which is a way to establish a good affinity and amicability with others. Once we have earned the confidence of others with our sincere wish to be of help, then what we say or do will create a positive effect on them and they will be open to our suggestions.

The second method is affectionate speech. This does not mean we use glib or flattering speech to sway others. Affectionate speech means to act with flexibility with others and to help them to be comfortable.

The third method is conduct benefiting others. This means that our words and actions must be truly beneficial to others.

The fourth and last method is co-operation with and adaptation of oneself to others. This is to participate in the same activities as others and to be a good example to guide them.

Practice, Practice, Practice

If we ask ourselves whether we are happier when we are angry or when we are calm, the answer is very clear. Knowing the answer, why do we so often end up becoming angry?

Unfortunately, while we know the principle, we have not yet learned to consistently control our thoughts and the ensuing emotions. So there is a gap between our knowing and our acting accordingly. Usually, a big gap.

Just like the man who stopped someone on a street in New York and asked how to get to Carnegie Hall and was told "practice, practice, practice," we too need to practice. Not just when conditions are good; but more importantly, when we feel all the bad habits arising within us. 

Our mental afflictions and bad habits do not go away on their own, as most of us have probably noticed by now. It takes hard work and sustained effort to weaken, lessen, and eventually eliminate them over time.

To accomplish this, we need to listen to the teachings so we will have regular reminders of the importance of this work and of how to proceed. We also need to remember to not get hooked by those situations and people that consistently elicit our repetitive, harmful reactions. Then we need to practice the teachings by incorporating what we hear into how we act. With time, this incorporation will occur more frequently and last longer.

And gradually, with "practice, practice, practice," we remain calm in the face of situations that would have angered us in the past.

 

 

Moderation

 

If the strings of a musical instrument are strung too tightly, they will break. Strung too loosely, the instrument will not play. Only when the strings are properly balanced will the instrument play well. Moderation is likewise vital to how well we function. If we give in to excess: such as indulging or depriving ourselves physically, or if we focus too much on one aspect of our lives while neglecting another, our lives, like that instrument, will not play out well. With moderation balance will be more attainable.