The Death of Someone We Love is Like a Coin

Like any coin, it has two sides. Too often we become so caught by the one side--grief--that we fail to turn the coin around to see what is on the other side--gratitude.

Without both sides, the coin is unfinished. 

Knowing both are there, it is complete.

Grieving is a process we go through. When it stops being a process and becomes a place we cannot move beyond, we become entangled in sadness, and even despair.

Thinking of those we loved and who are lost to us or of those who are slowly slipping away from us can bring us inexpressible sadness and anger as we silently cry out "Why!"

Or simply cry.

After the shock; the guilt; the anger; the realization of the magnitude of the loss and the sense of loneliness or, for many, depression, we can remain stuck, or we can turn the coin around.

We can gaze at the face of gratitude.

Whether older or younger and for however long it may have been, we had this person in our lives. We benefitted from their wisdom as well as their humor. They taught us how to better help others and to become a more caring person. They helped us to know when we should be determined and strong, and when we should be gentle.

They challenged and encouraged us. 

They cared about us.

They loved us.

Continuing to grieve for the loss of what they gave us burnishes the side called grief and tarnishes the side called gratitude.

Turning the coin around and gazing at the side called gratitude is like polishing it with our love until it glows. 

Comments

[Paul Tse]

Grief & grateful is still the same coin. Turn around to do something good for the people. There will be no grief & sorrow. You will find your mind more peaceful.