Forgive and Forget

Think you can’t do it? Or that the person doesn’t deserve it?

Recently, I was talking to a woman who owns a small company. A successful businesswoman, she is also an accomplished Buddhist. How so?

She told me that an employee embezzled some funds, a considerable amount of funds. When a third-party discovered what had happened, they contacted the police and the employee was arrested. The police asked the business owner if she wanted to also press charges. Asking if it was necessary, the police said no because the third-party had already done so. The case was clear-cut and the evidence complete.

The businesswomen said she’d prefer not to press charges and then asked after the welfare of the embezzler. As you can imagine, the police were taken aback by the business owner’s unruffled demeanor and concern about someone who had stolen from her.

Why did the business owner react this way?

She told me she must have owned the employee from a past life, so hopefully the debt was now re-paid.

If you think this is a Pollyanna reply, please reconsider.

What good would getting angry have done? Would it have gotten the money back? Would raising her blood pressure have made her feel better? Would testifying against the former trusted employee have made her happy? Made the situation disappear?

Getting angry would have caused the business owner to suffer physically and karmically. She knew this because she understood cause and effect. She understood the situation. The embezzler had been stopped. Seeking revenge through testifying would have prolonged any upset the owner had felt. Letting go of the desire for revenge through understanding and compassion, she was not suffering from this betrayal of her trust and friendship. She was able to quickly move on. She was again busy helping others through her Buddhist activities and looking after the interests of her clients who depended on her.

I have spoken with many people who cannot let go of their anger and wish to get even. I have also spoken with people who understand causality and have been able to let go. I have seen the results of both approaches to adversity. And I admire and respect those who can let go and move on for they are truly happy.