Letting it Go

The car slowed and came to a gentle stop. Before she could even pull the key out of the ignition, the back door was thrown open and slammed shut again. She stepped out of the car, leaned against it, and watched the small figure toddling along as fast as his short legs could carry him. He stumbled when he hit the sand and ended up on all fours, but he was up within a second and moving faster than ever. His small, wrinkled feet sprayed sand in all directions.

For a moment, she was enveloped in that same childish sense of excitement she had once known so well. She paused to breathe in the salty air and let the memories wash over her like the waves on the shore: the long drives squirming in the backseat with anticipation, the initial surge of excitement at the first shimmering glimpse of blue, the dash to the water’s edge, and the adrenaline rush that accompanied the shiver that always occurred at the first contact with the freezing water. But as soon as a wave comes it is gone again and this moment was no different. And just as it is useless to try to hold a wave and keep it captive on the shore, she could not chain her memories. She made no effort to do so but let them go without resisting and without regret.

With the push of a button, the trunk of Volvo station wagon popped open. She disappeared from the waist up and emerged holding a fire-truck red plastic pail and matching shovel. They had been forgotten by their owner in his haste.

She walked slowly, allowing the warm sand to flow between her toes until it was no longer warm but wet and soothing, conforming to the shape of her feet. She took one fragile hand in hers and traced the short, newly formed lines with one finger. She let go of his hand and it tightened on red plastic. For a moment, neither of them moved. Then she released her hold on the shovel, set the pail on the ground, turned around, and walked away. The beach chair remained in the trunk. There was no need for it. She sat directly in the sand and watched.

She watched him lay the strong foundation, pounding the sand with his fists until it was compact. She watched the towers appear, one by one, in the shape of the shiny red bucket. She watched the walls grow taller and taller and the moat grow deeper and deeper. Then she watched the long search and, finally, the discovery of the perfect shell for the very top.

She watched him dig frantically as the moat filled up. She watched the sand flung in horror on the top and sides of the wall in fruitless attempts to strengthen it and then just to keep it standing at all. She watched the look of pain overtake the young face. She watched the tears run down the smooth cheeks and become lost in the very water that had caused them. She watched the sobs that violently shook the small body, and she waited.

She waited as the shaking ceased and the tears stopped flowing. She waited as he wiped his red eyes to clear his blurry vision. She waited as the remains of a once glorious castle ran through his fingers and became undistinguishable from the rest of the beach. She waited as the same hand that had eagerly received the shovel sorted through the sand and grasped a broken piece of a seashell. She waited as he looked longingly at it for a moment, uncurled his fingers, and let it drop. And then she smiled.

~ This story was written by Elaina Faust, a student at Culver Academy. An attendee of Sacred Silence, she is in a class that has just concluded the segment on Buddhism.

All We Truly Know Is That We Truly Know Very Little

We are wisely taught that we need to be concerned about all other’s welfare, with a mind of good will and without hate. So, we need compassion not just for the abused but also for the one who is the abuser. One who hurts others does not understand causality, does not understand that by doing this he or she will continue to be pulled back again and again into the cycle of inflicting and receiving pain. People who hurt others do not understand that the persons they are hurting had hurt them in the past. By retaliating now, they are just perpetuating this cycle of pain.

We need sympathy and compassion to understand how both the victimizer and the victim are caught in this cycle. Unaware of the cause and effect that has brought them to this point; they are unable to act wisely. This is certainly understandable. How many of us have learned about causality? We should understand what is really happening when negative things occur in our lives. But when such things happen, how often are we able to remain calm and react wisely?

If we are sympathetic to others’ welfare while maintaining goodwill, commiseration, and loving-kindness for all people, then we will not judge others. We will not say that this person is right and that person is wrong because we will come to understand that we do not know what is really happening, that we will likely mis­take falsity for truth. But if we are able to regard both friend and foe with sympathy and loving-kindness, we will then be able to practice the nonjudgmental, unconditional giving of love and thus wish for all beings to be happy.

You have to be brave to take me out to lunch

Like other people who try to live a sustainable lifestyle, I'm trying to rethink everything I do. Since plastic can only be recycled once, recycling is best considered as a last resort. Not taking something in the first place or reusing something we already have is much better. So today, when Cameo asked me out to lunch after class, I hurriedly stuffed my plastic-fork-to-go into my pocket along with my little plastic box with chopsticks and spoon that I was given.

(So far the need to be brave hasn't arisen.)

Driving to the restaurant, my cell phone rang and while trying to get it out of my pocket, I dropped the plastic box and it spilled its contents. So it went back into my pocket to be added to the evening once-a-day-wash. Fortunately, the restaurant had washable cutlery so I didn't need to feel bad about not being able to use my take-along supply.

Then it happened. 

While we were eating, I saw a plastic bucket near the entrance to the kitchen. Those who attend my classes and have been in the center will understand my interest in plastic buckets. I allow very little water to go to waste. I reuse water from washing the dishes, catch the cold water while waiting for the hot, have a little bowl to catch the water from washing my hands in the bathroom sink and empty the bowl into the bucket, put the dishpan under the dripping faucet when the temperature drops so low the pipes could freeze, and do anything else I can think of to conserve water.

My problem is I have just one bucket, so I've been thinking of going to Goodwill to try to get a used one. 

Now, while sitting in the restaurant, I saw "my bucket." (Craving does pop up at the strangest times.) My bucket was the perfect size and looked very sturdy. It was one of those five gallon ones that are used so much in the food industry. Then, I spotted another one.  I was in bucket heaven!! Where there were two, there surely were more. I told Cameo about the buckets, trying to see if I would be brave (here it is) enough to ask the owner if she had any more buckets...any extra buckets.

Cameo seized the moment and asked the owner if she had any unused buckets. Understandably the owner was a bit confused about what we wanted but as soon as she understood, she went to look. Then she came back carrying a lovely bucket that even had a lid!

Ah, the simple pleasures of life as a Buddhist nun.

Other people in the restaurant were leaving with small take-home containers of leftovers. I walked out with a five-gallon bucket. White with red lettering. Very obvious.

It's a good thing Cameo is a brave woman or she'd probably never ask me out again for lunch...or anywhere else that might have buckets.   

No Way to "Jimmy the Machine"

One of the joys in my life is to hear people express clearly a deep understanding of the Dharma. The following was written by someone who is experiencing two painfully difficult events. Although his causes and conditions led him to be where he is today, the two—his father's sudden illness and now a trusted advisor’s all-too-human weaknesses—are not the direct result of his personal actions and neither occurrence could have been foreseen. It is not unusual for sudden shocks to cause a practitioner to have serious doubts as to his own capabilities.

The individual I am speaking of has written that if such a lack of judgment can be committed by a person who has reached a higher level in his practice and then experienced such a fall…

…what does that augur for me, an "ordinary" joe? The answer must be to keep practicing. Since both pleasing & unpleasant occurrences are guaranteed in life, one's job must be to learn to endure it all with wisdom, compassion & equanimity. There is simply no alternative. Positive & negative karmas will generate the future. The only choice is to progressively court positive growth through right thought, speech & action. There is no way to "jimmy the machine" and obtain a free lunch, or "jump the turnstile" and get a free ride.

The best refuge for these dharma-declining times is Pure Land Buddha remembrance. But even Great Cosmic Amituofo cannot do it for us. One must always walk the path oneself. Though assisted by other-power and sangha support, one is alone in practice.

That's quite a pill to swallow. So, despite the trials and tribulations of my life, I alone am responsible for my progress. And, no one owes me anything. In fact, I owe gratitude to all people and circumstances for acting as dharma instructors, wittingly or unwittingly. This will require serious commitment and maturity on my part. As I think on these things, the Bodhisattva vows echo in my mind.

So, no, there is no way to “jimmy the machine.” We have to do the hard work. But we can gain comfort knowing that if we plant the good seed, we will—without doubt—gain our reward, and be able to help all beings.  

Don't Look at Others

 

The Buddha told us to do no harm and to purify our minds. He did not tell us to instruct others to correct their faults. He did not say we should force others into thinking as we do or belittle others to make ourselves look superior or wiser. He told us that if we wish to awaken, we would need to stop blaming others for our problems, to stop arguing with others, and to stop judging others.

Instead, we need to look at ourselves, understand our situations, and assume full responsibility for what happens to us. We reap what we sow. Our lives today are the result of what we thought, said, and did in the past. What we think, say, and do today will, likewise, shape our future. If we harm others, we will be harmed. If we love others, we will be loved. If we have peaceful thoughts, we will have peace. Everything will come back to us full circle.

Thus, everything we do matters.