“Don’t be too quick.
You never know
what the next one will be like.”

Years ago, a wise woman told me about a time in her life when she was much younger.

As with many married couples, she and her husband found themselves going through a difficult time. They were increasingly at odds with one another. Unsure of what to do, the woman went to her mother and admitted her growing unhappiness. She was even considering divorce. Her mother replied, “Think—don’t rush. You have no idea what the next one will be like.”

With her mother’s sobering advice in her mind, the young wife went home to her husband. They remained married— happily, as it turned out—for over fifty years until his passing. She missed him every day until she too passed away.

Like that bride, we also run into situations where we might just find it easier to throw up our hands and quit. When deciding what to do, it can be helpful to remember this: “You have no idea what the next one will be like.”

Forget About Jealousy . . .

View inner impulses with the same apprehension

that you do with a bossy person.

When someone tries to boss us around we invariably resist. 

Who does she think she is?

He’s got a nerve telling me what I should do. 

And so we dig in our heels and refuse to listen to their bossy advice. We can make our own decisions, thank you very much.

But what about our own whims? Any advice needed with them? For example: past conversations. What is it that compels us to replay them in our minds? Verbal disagreements: what compels us to argue with someone in the first place?

More-than-one syndrome: the imported chocolates, courtesy of a friend, beckoning to us. A good reason to enjoy one. Delicious! Then we feel compelled to eat another. After the third one, guilty thoughts arise and our delight turns into embarrassment. We blame our lack of willpower.

Just as we now resist being dictated by the apparent whims of others, we need to develop the control to not be dictated by our own whims and impulses.

Practice letting go now without hesitation . . .