Do something for that person you’re upset with.

In our cultivation, we need myriad tools to help us overcome obstacles. I used one on a recent visit with someone who, like me, forthrightly expresses her opinions. On this occasion, she said something that was no longer true. Her comment was confusing because she was contradicting some facts I had just mentioned. She completely forgot what I had said earlier.

Replaying in my mind all the nodding she did earlier, I was befuddled. And admittedly somewhat miffed.

But then the unfortunate occasions when I was too opinionated flashed across my mind. This time I was determined not to repeat the hurt, not to cause her pain. Not wanting to embarrass or upset her, I remained silent.

And then, thinking of how easily our careless words can upset others, I apologized for the times that I had verbally irritated her. She graciously said she couldn’t remember my having done so. Wow! Instant pique dissipation. All from considering the other person’s feelings instead of my own.

And apologizing.