Never Make an Enemy

There are four kinds of affinity for a person to be born into a family: to repay kindness, to take revenge, to collect debts, and to repay debts.

All living beings, not just humans, are born into a family in the six paths because of one or more of these four kinds of affinity. Knowing this, we need to remember that we should not owe any debt nor should we incur enmity.

When we take advantage of others, this is incurring a debt, which we have to repay. When we incur an enmity, we will breed the desire for revenge. Reprisal breeds reprisal that is cyclical and never ending.

When others take advantage of us, we become upset. But ancient Chinese said that letting others take advantage of oneself will bring good fortune. Why? Because letting others take advantage of one will eliminate one’s karmic obstacles.

Those wishing to practice Buddhism invariably wonder how to cultivate. Cultivation is to correct one’s wrongdoings. We usually would not let others take advantage of us. But actually, this way of thinking or acting is wrong. When we are taken advantage of, we usually harbor a grudge and want to retaliate. Once we have this thought, a seed will be planted in the Alaya consciousness, our most subtle consciousness that moves from lifetime to lifetime. When the conditions for this seed mature in the future, there will be serious trouble.

When we are truly awakened and, like Buddhas, know the truth, we will not incur any enmities. No matter how someone takes advantage of, deceives, or falsely incriminates us, we should not dwell on these things. This is cultivation. We do not harbor a grudge or wish to retaliate.

In future lifetimes, we will become good friends with that person when we meet again. The enmity is dissolved, and this is good fortune. If we harbor a grudge and take revenge in future lifetimes, both we and the other party will suffer. That is misfortune, not good fortune. Revenge will be repeated lifetime after lifetime, and the suffering will be endless.

~ Based on Ven. Master Chin Kung's 2003 lecture series on the Amitabha Sutra