Affinities and Enmities

From all our past lifetimes, the people we encountered are more than we can count. Some of these relationships were good ones, while others, unfortunately, were bad. Sometimes, when we encounter people we had known before, we “recognize” them. Most of us have had the occasional experience whereupon meeting someone, we felt like we were meeting an old friend. In a sense, we were. We felt like we could have sat down and talked for hours, and maybe we did. Whenever we are with such an “old friend,” we feel happy and relaxed. This is a good affinity, a natural positive connection with another person.

Conversely, we all probably have had the experience of meeting someone and instantly felt an immediate dislike for that person. The individual did not say anything offensive, perhaps only said hello, but still, we felt a strong dislike. Whenever we encounter our “old antagonist,” we feel uncomfortable and tense. These are enmities, or negative affinities from our past.

When we encounter someone with whom we have a negative affinity, we can remind ourselves that, very possibly, we are irritating him just as he is irritating us. Why have we ended up in this situation? Karma. Karma is literally an “action.” Our thoughts, verbal and physical behavior plant causes. Everything that happens in our lives today is almost entirely the result of the causes we planted in our past lifetimes. Very little of what is happening to us now is the result of what we did earlier in this lifetime.

Since the causes were already created, there is nothing we can do to change them. We can, however, control the conditions that allow the causes to develop a result. For example, a seed is a cause that needs the right conditions to grow: good soil, adequate water, and plenty of sunshine. When these conditions are present, the seed can grow. But we can keep the seed from maturing by withholding the necessary conditions. Without soil, water, and sunlight the seed cannot grow—the cause cannot mature—because the necessary conditions are absent. Therefore, if we cannot diffuse the anger by letting it go, we can try to control the conditions.