January 17, 2024
Venerable Wuling in Civility

What to do 

when everything we say is irritating. 

You and another person have been friends for years. Many times laughing about silly things, at times pensive over others. But things have changed. The easy banter has morphed into occasions where you irritate the other person. You’ve tried being careful with every word. But it’s exhausting.

And so you begin to avoid the person. Many of us have been there. And we begin to wonder why. We ask ourselves, have we been the irritant? The culprit? Hopefully not. Then, is the other person irritating us, slowly enough not to be so noticeable? Yes? Then we need to get to the root of it and figure out what to do.

Was it over a minor incident? Hardly seems worth ruining a friendship over. A major incident? It sounds like a discussion is needed for both our sakes. Or perhaps the person is going through a difficult time, and it’s nothing to do with the friendship.

So instead of conjuring up all sorts of personal wrongdoing, why not just ask the other person if everything is alright.

Article originally appeared on a buddhist perspective (http://www.abuddhistperspective.org/).
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