Often, others see the benefits
of our practicing Buddhism before we do.
Before becoming a nun, I would take my mother and her friend Ruth to run errands. When Ruth asked if I had changed since becoming a Buddhist, my mother told her how I seemed much happier. And more patient. She continued at some length, talking about how much calmer I was, how much easier I was to get along with. Much more patient.
Finally, I interjected, “I couldn’t have been that bad before!” (But apparently, I was.) We laughed, and they moved on to another subject.
I have come to realize that we may well not be the best judge of whether we are making progress. Maybe we’re expecting, or hoping for, a dramatic change. Maybe we’re being too hard on ourselves to be able to judge impartially.
Those who know us well will happily notice that we’re more at ease with others and more enjoyable to be with. So if we want to know if we are making any progress, it might be better to ask those who know us well.
Just be prepared for the answer!