I told him that at some point, when her shock and initial reactions ease, when she gradually stops reacting numbly to her grief, this friend will, hopefully, come to realize that she has choices.
One choice involves holding on to the suffering, which could go on for years. The other involves a realization that causality is at play here. And asking “How can I move forward from here?”
Pain is an integral part of life here in samsara; suffering our reaction to it.
Choice determines how long and deeply we will suffer from our pain.