Having a change of heart towards another can require much patience and effort. Or it can happen in a flash of empathetic understanding.

Picture yourself walking down the street. You're running late as usual so decided to carry your handbag, laptop case, the new reference books you need to use today, and a large cup of coffee rather then make a second trip from the car. Suddenly, you are pushed from behind. Your bag, laptop, and books go flying, and you spill the coffee down the front of your best suit.

Furious, you turn around to demand why on earth the person did this when you find yourself looking at an elderly lady whose eyes are welling up with tears. She's muttering to herself a mantra she may often say "So stupid." She looks terribly embarrassed and seems so frail.

And in a flash, you have a change of heart. Your anger dissolves, and your only thought is to comfort her and tell her it's alright.

If we can similarly feel the suffering of those who upset us, our anger towards them can likewise dissolve.