My Teacher, Ven. Master Chin Kung, often speaks about how we should sui yuan, not pan yuan. In other words, we should accord with yuan rather than seek yuan. Yuan is usually translated as either conditions or affinities. By according with and not seeking conditions or affinities, we do not force them.
If the opportunity arises for us to do something or be with someone, we can take the opportunity to do so. But if it feels like we have to force something to happen then we are not according but seeking.
The problem with seeking conditions and affinities is this forcing on our part. If we force something and it is not supposed to happen, we will be setting ourselves up for disappointment as we develop expectations that cannot be met. Expectations unfulfilled, we do not gain the happiness we seek.
Finding the line between according and seeking can be tricky at first. With time and experience we will gradually learn to discover that line intuitively. When it feels like our emotions and desires are overcoming our being at ease with the situation, we may well have found our line, and just stepped over it.