Question: Hello... Even though I respect all religions I still struggle with my own spirituality from time to time. The main reason for my struggle is the fact that I am a pedophile; even though I would never hurt a boy sexually or physically I have still been born with the attraction towards them. I have the same desire to share sex with a boy as much as any adult would have for another adult; but it is my knowlage for what is right for the child that stops me from doing those things.
My point is; is that even though I feel love and attraction for children; but do not act these emotions out; does this still make me a monster? I cannot help the way I feel and did not choose the way I am. What advice would you give me?
Response: We are all born with desires and attachments. That is why we are still in the cycle of rebirth. We can give in to those desires or we can work to control them. You understand that to act on your desires as a pedophile would bring great harm to an innocent child and so you work hard and control yourself. This is what our practice is all about—restraining ourselves from harming others.
Ideally, we would not have any thoughts of desire. But since we are not yet awakened, we start from where we are. Each one of us has committed the karmas that have lead to our being the person we are today. To judge and label others or ourselves is pointless because none of us knows the causes that have lead us to who we are. All we now know is that those causes are fixed and cannot be changed.
But we can change who we are and who we will become with our current thoughts and actions. You are successfully controlling your actions. Do not judge yourself; but, rather, continue to control, reduce, and eventually eliminate harmful thoughts and impulses. This is something that each of us needs to do.