Saner Way of Reacting
June 16, 2007
Venerable Wuling in Happiness

Many of us find that we can gradually manage not becoming upset at bad occurrences. But not wanting the good times to continue can be more difficult because it seems harmless. What is wrong with wanting tomorrow to be as good as today? Wanting the happiness to continue? While this thinking does not harm others, it can inadvertently harm us for we are attaching or clinging to good times. And this is a form of greed.

What we are aiming at is to remain calm and content—to be unattached—at all times. Yes, this is extremely difficult at first and may well seem impossible. But with enthusiasm and effort, very gradually, we will find that when things do not go our way and on those unusual times when they do, we will remain calm and content either way.

So often it seems that other people want to do something differently from the way we want to do it. When others want to do things one way and we want to do them another, this is the very time that we need to be not attached to our way of doing things. If their preference is not morally wrong but just another way of doing something, consider their suggestions with an open mind. Will their way work as well as yours? Is it simply another way of accomplishing the task that you hadn't thought of?

Becoming upset, being in a bad mood, and making everyone uncomfortable will not help anyone. Try and remember two contrasting occasions: one that had you fuming and another in which you were extremely happy. Which feels better? Do not give in to the old negative habits: Find a saner way of reacting.

 

Article originally appeared on a buddhist perspective (http://www.abuddhistperspective.org/).
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