While we wish to be caring and tolerant, we often fall back into our bad habits of acting otherwise. Once again, we become trapped by our negative emotions.
In the grip of these negative feelings, we react to other people, to our situations, not out of the wish to help others but from the compelling urge to protect ourselves. Anger arises when we are selfish, when we are only thinking of what we want but failed to obtain. The other person does not go along with our ideas—we do not receive their agreement and praise for our cleverness. The article we want eludes us—we do not possess the object we are convinced would make us happy. The person we desire rejects us—we are alone and afraid.
All these fears lie at the core of our anger. We convince ourselves that the ideas, the possessions, the person will make us happy. We want it to happen. We expect it to happen! But our expectations fail to materialize. Happiness once again eludes us. Instead of looking at ourselves to see if we perhaps were the cause, we blame others for arguing with us, for not giving us what we deserve to have, for not loving us as we hope. And so our fear of not being admired by others, our fear of not having what others have, our fear of being lonely and alone arise. We strike back defensively at those around us. We strike at those we perceive as having robbed us of what we wanted, of what we felt we deserved to obtain, and of what we believe others already have. We are afraid.
In our fear, we feel vulnerable. In our insecurity and anxiety, our fear gives birth to anger. We may hold our bitterness, resentment, or pain inside, or we may react by striking out at the other person. Either way, we give in to anger once again. In the same way, our family members give in to anger. Friends and co-workers give in to anger. Those with power and the means to inflict great harm give in to anger. And our world is engulfed in greed and disappointment, in ignorance and delusion, and in anger and retaliation.
Not just individuals but groups of people, bound together by ethnicity, religion, or by politics, react in the same way. Greed. Fear. Anger. Revenge. What is the answer? How do we resolve conflict and attain peace?
Wishful thinking will not end the hatred and intolerance in the world. Merely reading books will not solve our problems. Relying on others certainly does not work. The only way to create peace is through hard work and dedication, and by understanding how much is at stake here. We, each one of us, must be dedicated. We must do the hard work.