Normal grief is a process through stages. The timing is different for every person. Grief takes time. Some people progress more rapidly if they make the decision to "work through" their grief.
Shock: (Initial weeks following death)
Sense of bewilderment or shock
Many follow prescribed routines (visitation, funeral, etc.)
Survival mode with life on "automatic pilot"
Memory impaired; events are blurred
Reality has not sunk in
Protest: (First few months)
Period of self-preservation
Focus of life revolves around loss
Loss of interest in events, life in general
Physical symptoms can appear
Issues of anger, fear, avoidance common
Disorganization: (Approximately 3 to 8 months)
Recognition of finality of loss
No motivation, no energy to move ahead
Anguish, despair and confusion can dominate
Understanding that everything has changed
Life remains disorganized with limited vision of future
Reorganization: (Approximately 8 months to 1+ years)
Healing and reorganization accelerate
General acceptance of new roles
Willingness to start setting goals
Desire to return to a more normal life
New relationships, patterns can now emerge
Grief counseling, support groups, journaling and expressing your feelings are basic helps in this healing process.
~ Reflections, Issue 2 2007, Publication of The Center for Hospice and Palliative Care